Earlier this week a friend of mine told me his
nineteen year old daughter had been admitted to a psychiatric inpatient
service. His relationship with his daughter is close, supportive and
positive. Her illness had taken a turn for the worse and the difficult
decision to hospitalize had been made collaboratively by the young girl, her
parents and her outpatient treatment team. The next day he called the
inpatient service to find out how she was doing. She was involved in a
scheduled activity and was unavailable to chat with him. So he asked the
staff member a simple question: “how is my daughter doing”? The response –
“I can’t talk to you because that would be breaking her confidentiality”.
As expected, he was shocked. Not only was
he one of her major supports, he had been involved in her care, her successes
and her sorrows for the entire time she was unwell. He had worked with her
and her previous health providers to address the challenges of her
illness. And now, suddenly, he was told that he could not even be told how
is daughter is doing because of “confidentiality”?
What kind of care is this? Does
“confidentiality” mean that a concerned, involved and supportive parent cannot
receive the simplest information about how their child is doing from a care provider? Is
this barricading of children from their parents common across all types of
health care, or is this unique to brain disorders? Is this what are trying
to achieve when we work together to help people recover from their mental
illness?
Certainly, young people need to be able to share
their concerns, questions and problems in confidence with their health care
provider. Is this the same thing as denying parents access to basic
information about their child? Parents have important and essential roles
to play in the lives of their children. This obligation does not end when
puberty begins. Indeed, it amplifies: and becomes more
complicated. Health care providers need to understand how important the
relationship between parents and their children is. They need to
understand that “independence” is a relative term, one that continues to evolve
over the entire duration of the relationship between parent and child. We
have to do better.
--Stan